Returning to Work

Even after all this time, I still question my decision to go back to work. I ran across this entry on Work It - a blog for working moms. It hits the needle on the head for me -- so, I thought I'd share! Vanessa, thank you for helping me put it into words.

Returning to Work
By Vanessa
Withing my age group, my circle of friends there are many of us having babies. Some decide to stay home and others return to work. Most of my friends who return to work are riddled with guilt. Why is that?

Well, as a society, we are supposed to be the ones taking care of the children. But who decided it has to be that way? Aside from financial reasons, here are my reasons for returning to work and it doesn't mean I love my kid less. In fact, I feel like I'm able to give him more quality time and focus my energy on him when I am home. Staying home isn't for everyone and really is a choice each person has to make on their own. For me, I often felt guilty, but quickly recovered to discover the strengths it provides.

My reasons:
1. I need adult time. Sure, when you stay at home you can have play dates and all that fun stuff, but in my observations of play groups, the mothers are focused on their children and very rarely interact on a purely adult level.

2. Leave it to professionals. As a responsible parent, you will find the best options available and affordable for their child. For me, I think that the daycare that my child attends is top-notch. Most of the teachers have degrees in child development and education. They know (better than I do!) what is age-appropriate for my child and help him to explore things that I never thought he would be ready for. There are so many things, from making him drink from a sippie cup vs. bottle to artwork and such that I would have never pushed him to do. Turns out he is ready for those things and is a more well-rounded child because of it!

3. Social, Mental, Emotional Development. Not only does his day revolve around a pretty rigid schedule (which children NEED), but he is surrounded by all kinds of different personalities and he learns to adapt to each one - just like we need to in the real world. He also learns very early about sharing, caring and being sensitive to others' feelings.

4. Routine. Kids thrive on routine and schedules (just about any parenting magazine, book, website, doctor -- whatever will tell you that). If I stayed home with my son I know that I would have to have a rigid schedule of napping, playing and activities planned otherwise we would all go insane. I honestly don't know if I would have the discipline to spend the time needed without feeling that I need to do those other things around the house (e.g., laundry, cleaning, talking on the phone) and not really spending the quality time. In other words, I think I would easily be distracted.

Still I do feel guilty. But at the end of a long day, nothing beats coming home from work to a smiling happy kid who missed you almost as much as you missed them and snuggling up on the couch together and talking about the day. In the end, I know I did the right thing for me and my family.